The prescription you’ve been looking for...🤓

I’m privileged to talk with many people. I hear their dreams, wants, needs, and what a better life looks like for them. No matter our current concerns, what we’re truly seeking is the same: to feel good within ourselves.

Imagine if, at its core, your day‑to‑day life felt exciting, awe‑inspiring, joyful, and peaceful.

Imagine being fully awake to the wonder of the life you’ve been given.

Imagine seeing circumstances, people, and events as lessons from Life School—opportunities to grow. Imagine being fully turned on to life.

Today I want to share one thing that changed my life more than anything else. It’s the simple shift that changes how we see life—and therefore changes our entire reality.

This is not about toxic positivity or ignoring hard emotions. It’s about embracing everything.

Replace the Good/Bad lens

We’re raised to label actions and events as good or bad, right or wrong. Boundaries and responsibility matter, but these labels shape the lens through which we view the world.

Our minds have a built‑in negative bias—a survival mechanism that scans for what’s wrong. Over time, seeing life through “bad” and “wrong” turns into shame, judgment, and an ecosystem of self‑loathing.

Self‑loathing is subtle. Most people wouldn’t admit they act against their best interest, yet the way we speak to ourselves and behave with others reveals it.

The New Lens

The magic shift is replacing the rigid Good/Bad, Right/Wrong lens with a neutral one: curiosity, compassion, and nuance.

Where the old lens acts like a straitjacket on our capacity to love and create, the neutral lens opens possibilities for authentic expression, connection, and joy.

Choosing not to label everything immediately removes the tightrope you’ve been walking. It reveals that every moment is a choice—and you get to create it.

The old lens sets you up to feel judgment and shame toward yourself and others.

A neutral lens makes life a palette of millions of colors—choices that let you decide whether a lesson matters and what you want to do differently, without judgment or shame.

What this looks like in real life

You can decide it’s wrong that a colleague snubbed you, a barista didn’t smile, or your partner leaves cabinets open.

Or you can see the behavior as neutral and choose to observe what it highlights for you and whether there’s a lesson.

• The sting of being called out might point to something you want to change.

  
  

• The barista’s coldness might remind you to prioritize eye contact in small interactions.

  
  

• Closing the cabinets after your partner might highlight all the ways they already care for the household.

  
  

A neutral lens turns life into a palette of millions of colors—choices that let you decide whether a lesson matters and what you want to do differently, without judgment or shame.

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IN PRACTICE: a simple three‑step habit

Step 1 — Notice triggers. Start by noticing moments when you’re triggered, angry, or upset.

Step 2 — Pause. When you’re in the heat of an unpleasant moment, STOP. Breathe, observe, and step back from immediate labeling.

Step 3 — Ask three short questions.

1. Is there an underlying belief that something is Good/Bad or Right/Wrong?

   
   

2. If I see this as neutral, what lesson do I want to learn from it?

   
   

3. How does this emotional upset help me notice something I’d like to change or do differently?

   
   

Use these questions as a quick mental checklist in the moment. The goal is not to intellectualize your feelings but to transform them into useful information.

Micro-practice: For one week, track three triggers each day. For each trigger, write one neutral observation and one small action you’ll take differently.

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On to a beautiful weekend, 

Stani

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Ready to do the work? If you find this helpful and would like to dive in deeper in exploring how to create a life of more fulfillment and joy., and what would it look like to work together you can reach out to me here to book a FREE Introductory Call.