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Are you Othering? 👉

In my last post I explored Future-Tripping - our deeply rooted habit of living in, and for the future while disconnecting from truly living a fulfilling and happy life.

If you missed you can read it HERE.


Did you take on the future-tripping challenge for a day, the weekend or maybe even a week? You can read my own follow up below this message. 


Sometimes we want to escape the NOW and sometimes we want to escape the HERE - that is ourselves.

 

Another way our poor, fear-driven minds try to keep us safe is to make us blame, put down, judge, compare yourself to others.

It’s also known as Othering. 


Ironically othering is ALWAYS about you - it’s never actually about others.


Do you criticize your partner because they leave their stuff all over the place? 

Do you think your colleague is smarter than you because they always speak up more?

Or think that other kid’s parent is a total mess?



Since you are the one holding the judgment, praise, comparison, it only signals something about YOU.



Other people are mirrors to help us see what we most need to know but are unable to see about ourselves:





  • your partner triggers you because they prioritize their time in a way you wish you did

  • you compare to people who mirror qualities, values, and life that’s fully available for you to grow into

  • that other parent triggers you because you wished you could be more carefree and true to yourself



Other people are our teachers, and the people who get the most reaction from us are our GREATEST teachers… The quicker you address what those around you are teaching the sooner you can benefit from the deep insights and learning that comes from othering.


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IN PRACTICE:

Decide and commit that today, this weekend, or for a week you'll make it your job to turn your Othering radar ON and try the steps below: 


1) Set an intention to catch yourself when you blame, put down, judge, or compare to someone.


2) Ask yourself “What is this person possibly mirroring in me? What is the lesson for me here?”


3) Commit to writing down and reflecting on what you observe. because when we don't reflect we don’t learn.

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✨Just like Future-Tripping is your soul’s red flag to pay attention to what needs, actions and possibilities are available in the present moment,  Othering is your red flag to notice, acknowledge and fully love and accept yourself for who you truly are, with all your richness and complexity. ✨

 

And there is no greater power than fully loving yourself unconditionally!



Much love,

Stani

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